Productivity

Productivity during quarantine? we all have a lot of time on our hands now, but while the world is in crisis are we obligated to be hyper-productive. You won't be able to tell but I've been so unproductive that I started this post on the 8th and I'm only posting it now. Actually, that isn't entirely true I've been productive adjacent, I've completed things but not things that I've had on my to-do list forever. I've taken up watercolour painting instead of washing my makeup brushes, instead of making a makeup video for this blog I have been doing a "science experiment" of watching a caterpillar grow as it devours a plant. So I haven't been doing absolutely nothing but I haven't been doing the important stuff.

I am doing things that make me feel calm though, I can spend an entire day on a painting and I'll listen to a podcast. I thoroughly enough it and it has really helped my anxiety. This is honestly what has kept me from having any more anxiety attacks ( I had 1 or 2 at the beginning of the lockdown). Quarantine and productivity are a double-edged sword because on one end what is happening are traumatic and unknown. We don't know when this is going to be over, we don't the extent of how much this pandemic has changed things. 

So I ask, do I get down on myself for not being more productive? should I be structuring my day as a 9 to 5 and start that novel I've always wanted to write. Or do I do that intuitive eating thing, except with productivity? I'm productive when I feel like it and when I don't, I'll stay in bed all day watching youtube videos about creepy shit. Another question I ponder is can I just consider that painting is my new productive? Am I not considering myself productive because I'm not doing the things that have been on my to-do list since the beginning of the year. But is it okay? is it good for my mental health? I haven't washed my makeup brushes but I've been doing online courses. I'm not lying in bed all day every day just watching Netflix and youtube but I'm also not doing the things I write on my to-do list. I will write out a to-do list in the morning and then spend the day doing the most random of activities and not do the things on my list. Is that good or is that bad? I don't know but at least I'm being productive in some sense of the word.

I'm no expert, but I've had this on my mind the whole of the lockdown because there as been such opposing opinions on social media and it could make you feel like you wasting this time. I would not consider this time-off a gift because it's not, it a quarantine, its not a good thing, I don't think it fair to expect humans to flourish in a time like this. I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do. Don't let social media guilt you about how you spend your time but also don't make watching everything on Netflix your biggest quarantine goal.